I've been watching Long Lost Family on TLC since season 1. I absolutely love this show. I've cried watching every single episode. It's a show about people who have experienced adoption and are now seeking their biological (bio) families. Sometimes bio family wants to meet up and sometimes they don't. Sometimes it's the adopted child seeking a parent and sometimes it's the parent seeking their child. It is a great conversation starter for my husband and myself about how we will deal when our daughters are of age to search.
My husband and I know that with our present technology, keeping adoption a secret is near impossible. If the child doesn't hear it from someone they know, someone from their past will eventually find them on social media. So, keeping it a secret has never crossed our minds. But we can't help but wonder what it will be like when our kids are curious about where they came from. Our eldest daughter is three years old. We can sense that she understands conversations around her. We know she understands when we talk about adoption, although we don't know how much. We think and wonder if she'll want to meet her bio family or not. We wonder if she will feel loved, happy, satisfied with the life God planned for her. We wonder if we will be hurt by her curiosity. All these things seem to be natural emotions. But we hope that when the time comes, we are ready. We hope to walk our kids through their curiosity and support them the entire way. Whatever they choose to do, we hope we have loved them enough to assure them that no matter what happens, they can come to us with any questions.
Adoption is not all rainbows and unicorns. There is a huge loss that occurs when a child is removed from its mother. Adoption from foster care can be even more painful and traumatic. Most times, children are old enough to see what is going on but not old enough to understand why they were removed. They may feel a sense of resentment and hold extreme emotions for a long time. Sometimes it is not in a child's best interest to reunite the child with their biological mom. But it is their right to know. It is important that they are able to see for themselves why their path in life is what it is. I can only hope that when my daughters are ready, their bio moms are too. In the meantime, we pray for them to heal and always have peace that their daughters are in an amazing home with a huge family that loves them to the moon and back.